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"No, sweetie, sorry I don’t knohat the twins have been telling you," he finally said "Probably pulling your leg You kno they are Always trying to scare you"

"Ah," I said and sank deeper into my seat I looked over at Ada She looked like hell, but I could see she didn’t believeMy parents were But why lie about so as rando hts because the lurch of the car wokeabove us, the trees waving wildly in the wind

I got out of the car, the cold gusts catching in one a little over a day and yet the sunshine and optio

I was back at the lighthouse, standing outside of it just underneath the tower Its insides were lit up like a spaceship with piercing light coh the porthole s A ht e and looked over me and the ocean before him He was fuzzy and devoid of shape or feature It was as if my eyes couldn’t, or wouldn’t, focus on him

He lifted his ar out behind hiestures

I followed his gaze and saw floating pieces of wreckage bobbing up and down aain at the one

I faced the ocean and the inco between the sea andto search the waves

I took a step toward hi of immensity about him His black coat looked dense like a black hole, and the more closely I looked at it, the netic

I reached out for him, to see if my hands would disappear into his back

He turned around, slowly I paused, my hands outstretched I expected to see his profile as it caht sky Or the black sky was bleeding into his face By the tione and I was looking straight into the sea behind hi isn’t lost yet, kiddo"

A deep, sain

And then I woke up

Work on Monday was an utter disaster I couldn’t concentrate on anything If I wasn’t thinking about the drea about the real experience in the lighthouse The last thing I was thinking about was answering the phones properly I probably hung up on ten different people

It was enough, anyway, that Frida, my boss, pulledback from the bathroom

Frida was just as petite as I hich always made me feel I could relate to her on some level She was only about thirty and was known to trade drunken late-night stories with me (or should I say I just listened to theo out like she did) But there were days like today when her skinny face became one of authority

"I’et into it

"Come with me," she said brusquely, and beckoned me to follow her into an eularly, I did as she asked and she closed the door behind her She had this concerned look on her face that e I had a flashback to a doctor-patient scenario

"What’s up?" I asked as casually as I could In the back ofNor

"You’re not a very good liar, Perry," she stated That was kind of insulting I totally thought I was

I gave a half-hearted chuckle "I don’t knohat you--"

"I think you need to go home," she said sihed It wasn’t exasperated or annoyed but et into explaining herself She was going to have to, though, especially with the quizzical look I was giving her

"Re on a warning tone "You had that little attack of yours?"

Ah, right No wonder she was handling ain, trying to sht I know I’m your boss and you can’t talk to me about stuff, but if you need to, I’m here for you The last feeeks, I’ve noticed you’ve been a lot different"

"Last feeeks?" I repeated

She folded her arainst the door "Yes You’ve been sloppier,at all I don’t knohat’s wrong, and I don’t expect you to tell me, but I just want you to know that you can if you want to I’e I’d rather just know"

I felt pretty e about Iany different then"

"But you notice now?"

"I did have a rough weekend," I said honestly

She stared atthat tie OK, so yes, a feeeks ago I had a panic attack I screwed up a call between so on the phone and the person she wanted to speak to She raised such a fuss abouta panic attack that a lot of people in the office, unfortunately, bared witness to I just blauess that hadn’t really fooled Frida